Work has gotten better. We have a huge turn over rate but I believe the teachers we have now are being positive and are changing things around. I still get frustrated about not being able to have time off but they are being really nice right now about my needs and I will take the strikes as they come and hope for the best. As for the administration..... I have seen a huge change. Yes people have changed roles but more than that everyone is being positive and in good moods and treating us as teachers will respect and being willing to help. I am thinking it was a reality check when everyone quit. I am still extremely frustrated that I do not have a permanent co-teacher so I tend to do everything on my own. But at least I have my teacher until Aug. Then I will start this whole getting into the groove with a teacher over again.
I am done with school until Aug and could not be happier. Yes I have to do my online economic class but my dad is helping me and it should be a breeze. Taking two classes for the month of June was hell. I never slept nor got anything done because I was spending my nights reading hundreds of pages and writing paper after paper. But it is over and I am glad I took the classes I did because it could have been worse. I think the break is much needed because I was becoming burned out. I am still extremely mad that I have to be in grad school an extra semester. IT IS SO FRUSTRATING!! I have the worst advisor ever and it would take millions of pages to tell you everything she has done to me. Long story short there is no way I can graduate by this may because she failed to tell me certain classes can't be taken certain semesters. So instead I will be student teaching in one year and graduating in Dec of 11. I don't want to be at Canterbury working this long but I guess I"ll suck it up. I have met some amazing people. OH and my advisor also told me to go suck up to daddy and get more money when I was trying to make my case on why I should get special permission to take a class that isn't usually offered to us. I had said my parents won't pay for more than two years so that puts me at my student teaching semester when I can't work to pay bills and rent plus having to pay for 15 hours at a private university. I was so appalled by what she said. I went ahead and told my dad and basically ended up begging him not to go up to rockhurst or call her. It's just sad that it is such an amazing program but since she is the associate dean I will never be able to recommend the program to anyone.
I am having surgery in 5 days. I'm very scared but wont' admit that in person. I don't do well with pain or being sick. Heck most people know that getting sick is never a breeze with me and there are always complications. Therefore what is there to say there won't be a major complication. I am only having my tonsils out but I will still be put to sleep and in lots of pain. So I am having this done July 9th and will have a week off from work. It will be nice to relax but I wish it were for better circumstances. So I will need lots of company to watch movies with. :-)
So the biggest thing in my life......... My weightloss journey. AND I SUCK! Okay I can't say that. I have lost 53ish pounds. But I hit 45 and got stuck and have been stuck in the 50's forever!!! It's not going anywhere and I am just frustrated. Well my trainer and I had finally started making leads and he drops a bomb on me...... he got a new job and was leaving. I trained with him the last time on Wed. I loved him!!! And now I'm in between. I called and talked to the manager and expressed that I was only wanting to Train with Tom.... I know him and I feel comfortable with that. Being stuck on losing weight like I have and getting so discouraged but at the same time not being able to allow myself a break from the gym cause I get guilty feelings and having your trainer leave was all so much that getting someone I don't know is not an option to me. I need some familiarity and Tom knows me and I know we will do well. I'm just scared that he won't be able to fit me in. I'm a bit nervous cause I have not heard from him yet. I am also freaking out because the last two days I have eaten horribly because I just haven't cared. But I am feeling gross so I know I will be on track for the rest of today and weeks to come. I guess every so often you just need a bad few days. I'm also terrified because I can train once this coming week before my surgery than I am out for two weeks have a week here and then leave for Pennsylvania. AHHHHHH I'm never going to lose weight. I was doing so so well in the beginning then it just stopped. I know deep down it's my fault because tho I still say no to many things I slip a lot! But it will all work out.... so I tell myself. But I did hit 50 and that is big. Now if only I could move past that and get more support cause I was stuck for so long that there was nothing to celebrate anymore and in a way I feel it discouraged my trainer as well. And no matter what I say about him or how much I hated the sessions or felt that I wasn't getting anywhere he was amazing. I miss him a lot already and am scared for the future. Hopefully once I hear from Tom I can get back into it and have positive things to say because right now this journey is debbie downer.
I am sure there is so much more to talk about but I have some cooking to do!
Have a wonderful holiday weekend!!
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